Finally, it is also important to note that as a funeral director, your familiarity with the process of making funeral arrangements and your relative ease with the idea of death are themselves a form of privilege. This privilege is not necessarily the same kind that is typically the focus of intersectionality, since it is not based on historic or ongoing discrimination or marginalization, but your role as a funeral director does come with expertise and power. The framework of what has been called servant leadership may be useful here. It suggests that power, service, and humility do not necessarily need to be in tension with one another (Chism and Strawser, 2017). Openly acknowledging your expertise even as you learn about your clients’ wishes and customs may be the most authentic way to engage with them. Questions may arise for you: How do you learn about what each member of the family would like to see in the funeral, especially with a diversity of opinions and a language barrier? How do you use what you know about traditional Chinese funerals without making too many assumptions? As members of a minority group, what might your new clients not feel comfortable asking for, and how can you set them at ease and facilitate the kind of ceremony they truly want? From this course, you know that the arrangements for many traditional Chinese funerals begin with a feng shui consultation. But if you didn’t know about that, what kind of questions could you ask your clients to find out about a custom like that if they didn’t automatically voice all their preferences? Ultimately, cultural sensitivity and competence is an ongoing practice that can get easier and more meaningful over time. Assumptions made, faux pas committed, and opportunities missed may feel awkward or discouraging. It is in moments like these that the curiosity and humility we have discussed as being important in guiding how you act toward your clients become important in guiding how you act toward yourself. As you gather information and learn about unfamiliar customs, you may find yourself forming negative judgments. Reminding yourself that you may not choose the judgments that arise in your mind, that you do not control all your thoughts, that you are not the same as your thoughts, and that you are not responsible for all your thoughts can help set yourself at ease. You are doing difficult, valuable work if you are able to use curiosity to break the cycle of judgment by asking yourself things like: ● Where did this custom come from? ● What need might it serve for those who practice it? ● What dearly held values might those who practice it be enacting? ● Why might this be making me feel uncomfortable? Pew Research Center. (2022a, April 26). Chapter 1: Religious affiliation. Public Life Project . https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2012/07/19/asian-americans-a-mosaic-of-faiths- religious-affiliation/ Pew Research Center. (2022b, June 13). Religious landscape study . Public Life Project. https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/religious-landscape-study/racial-and-ethnic- composition/latino/ Raymond, C. (2022, October 28). What is the Day of the Dead? Funeral Help Center . https://www.funeralhelpcenter.com/what-is-the-day-of-the-dead/ Rose, L. (2011, February 18). Black history month: African American funeral directors as community leaders. NJ.com . https://www.nj.com/news/2011/02/black_history_month_ african-am.html Steinmetz, K. (2020, February 20). Kimberlé Crenshaw on what intersectionality means today. Time . https://time.com/5786710/kimberle-crenshaw-intersectionality/ Taylor, S. E., Sherman, D. K., Kim, H. S., Jarcho, J., Takagi, K., & Dunagan, M. S. (2004). Culture and social support: Who seeks it and why? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87 (3), 354-362. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.87.3.354 Terrell, E. (2021, February 16). Honoring African Americans: Celebrating life in death. African American funeral homes; Inside Adams. Library of Congress . https://blogs.loc.gov/inside_ adams/2021/02/african-american-funeral-homes/
Now what do privilege and intersectionality have to do with being a funeral director and with the topics discussed in this course? Well, privilege is everywhere, and intersectionality is a lens for understanding it. But intersectionality is particularly important when interacting with people from backgrounds that are different from your own because that difference may mean someone is more likely to have a level of privilege that is different from your own. Furthermore, differences in cultural background may make it harder for you to recognize their level of privilege. For example, in certain cultures, women, unmarried individuals, or members of certain religious or social castes may experience significantly less privilege. Sensitivity to privilege and a client’s cultural background are as important as overall sensitivity is, and when talking to recently bereaved clients, that sensitivity is very important indeed. A scenario Increased sensitivity can lead to wonderful results for your clients as you become better able to learn about and enact a family’s traditions across a cultural divide. Here’s an example. A family with a Chinese background comes to you. An elderly woman has died, and now her husband and two adult children are requesting your services. The wife and husband emigrated from mainland China and raised their children in the U.S. The children grew up speaking English, and their father’s English is limited. Perhaps the children don’t seem particularly religious and do not have a strong connection to the customs that you have heard characterize many traditional Chinese funerals. And perhaps their father cares deeply about those customs. The process of cultural competence Cultural competence isn’t about knowing the answers to all the questions mentioned above or ones like them immediately. Certainly, a broad knowledge of different cultures is an invaluable asset, but there will always be more you don’t know about certain people’s cultural backgrounds, especially if they come from marginalized communities. Cultural competence begins with an awareness of one’s own cultural background and the level of privilege associated with it (Boesen, 2014). Are you a member of a historically marginalized racial or ethnic group, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, or class group? Are you a U.S. citizen? Is English your native language? These are just some of the questions you can ask yourself to gain a sense of where you stand. Once you have a sense of where you stand, you’ll be in a better position to understand where your clients are. The questions listed above are also good ones to ask yourself about your clients, even if asking your clients directly may not always be the right move. Gathering information in a gentle way, marked by what has been called cultural humility and genuine curiosity, is the approach most likely to set your clients at ease. Bayer Cemetery Brokers. (2016, February 15). What is a feng shui burial site? Bayer Cemetery Brokers . https://bayercemeterybrokers.com/feng-shui-burial-site/ Beyond the Dash. (2021, March 24). Mexican funeral traditions . https://beyondthedash.com/ blog/cultural-spotlight/mexican-funeral-traditions/6262 Boesen, L. (2014, May 1). Creating connections through cultural humility . http://www. lisaboesen.com/creating-connections-through-cultural-humility/ Chism, S., & Strawser, M. (2017). Serving a death-denying culture. The International Journal of Service Leadership, 11 (1), 229-256. Dignity Memorial. (n.d.). Black funeral traditions . https://www.dignitymemorial.com/support- friends-and-family/black-funeral-traditions Funeral Guide. (2019, July 31). Chinese funeral customs . https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/ blog/death-around-world-chinese-funeral-customs-and-traditions Hidalgo, I., Brooten, D., Youngblut, J. A. M., Roche, R., Li, J., & Hinds, A. M. (2020, October 2). Practices following the death of a loved one reported by adults from 14 countries or cultural/ethnic groups. Nursing Open . https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ PMC7729787/ Hopper, E. (2017, June 6). Individualist or collectivist? How culture influences behavior. HealthyPsych.com . https://healthypsych.com/individualist-or-collectivist-how-culture- influences-behavior/ References
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