members may not realize that a viewing, visitation, and even full funeral service can be had before the cremation. They also may not realize that the cremated remains could ultimately be inurned in a family plot, divided for individual family members to retain, scattered at a place of deep meaning, or any combination of these options. A funeral director must serve to educate families as to the options available. Serving to educate the family instead of coming across as an order taker or salesperson benefits everyone involved in the process. It can never be assumed that families are aware of the options that could potentially be available for their loved ones. A director assisting with arrangements should be attuned to the family’s needs, especially when conflict is present, and consider available options to meet their needs. Still referencing the example scenario above, the side of the family wishing for cremation may be willing to allow viewing and services before cremation. The family’s side desiring burial may be more accepting of cremation after learning the other arrangement options available before cremation and the options for memorializing the cremated remains. There are always other options that can be presented to the family in times of conflict. The observance of traditions of both cultures within the same service could be a potential compromise. At times, this compromise will not be viable when the traditions may interfere with a part of the family’s religious beliefs or the religious leader involved. If a portion of the desired service is not available due to a religious component of a different religion, it may be possible to conduct a separate service for each tradition. Working together in a family, a funeral service firm, or any organization is essential, and a solution requires communication and compromise. problematic when strong followers of practices, faiths, traditions, or customs within the family. Families may include spouses of different faiths as well as children and other family members. Opposing sides of the family must be flexible and willing to accept the decisions made by those with the absolute right and responsibility. As previously stated, concerning funeral directors, families must realize that honoring another’s wishes or traditions does not mean compromising their values and beliefs. It can be extremely difficult for adult children of a decedent to respect and honor a stepparent’s wishes. This is especially true when the children were adults at the time their parents married their current spouse. Except under certain circumstances, the legal spouse of a decedent has a priority right of disposition. This fact must be communicated clearly to any adult children or other family members who wish to make decisions. This fact should be stated with respect, compassion, and understanding but done so clearly and unequivocally. influence. However, the ideas and suggestions of others can sometimes be contradictory to other members of the family. This can especially be the case when multiple cultures or faiths are represented within the family. Directors must remain diligent in the impartiality and educate families of the options available to the next of kin. The ultimate final decision for arrangements must come from the legal next of kin, and that should be made unequivocally clear to any others attempting to insert decisions. This can be communicated tactfully and professionally without any intentional disrespect. The tendency in situations such as this is for the influencer to, knowingly or unknowingly, become more prevalent in additional ideas and attempt to make more decisions. Prudent death care professionals will realize the potential for these occurrences and proactively seek to maintain a positive sense of direction throughout the arrangement process.
the course of funeral services. The tension and strife can be magnified when multiple cultures, religions, or differing faiths are involved. These differing views can present issues for the immediate family or next of kin responsible for the arrangements. For example, when a couple from two different faiths intermarry, there can be an expectation or desire for the deceased to receive the religious funeral rites of either faith. Other family members may assume that the decedent’s original faith rituals will be honored while other members feel otherwise. Funeral directors are taught to be impartial in times of family disagreements. It would be unethical and potential legal liability for directors to attempt to influence the next of kin in either direction of the disagreement. The director involved in situations such as these must remain respectful, professional, and factual with all involved. Confidentiality is a component of a director’s responsibility that must not be compromised. Especially in an already volatile situation, confidential information disclosed to an unauthorized party could result in severe consequences. There are steps that an experienced director can take to assist the family in arriving at a mutually acceptable compromise. As is often the case when observing or being involved in a conflict, listening can be the most integral part of finding a solution. Each side of the conflict will ultimately have a desire they would like met. There are some results demanded that cannot always be compromised. For example, when one side of the family wants the deceased to be buried in a family plot while other family members demand the deceased be cremated. Though there may not be a compromise to be had in the final disposition, there can sometimes be a service offered to find the middle ground. Families may not always understand the options available for services. In the example used here, all family Blended families Families can be as diverse in makeup as the individuals in the communities they make up. The phrase ‘blended family’ is defined by Merriam Webster as a family that includes children of a previous marriage of one spouse or both (www.merriam- webster.com, 2020). When a couple is joined in marriage, they bring their customs and historical practices to the marriage. The differences in customs or beliefs can be insignificant or can be completely contradictory. Although the couple may agree with their wishes, the wishes may not always be communicated to their families. Even when their wishes are appropriately communicated to their other family members, there is no guarantee of agreement or the potential honoring of the wishes. The inclusion of children and extended family members can contribute to more cultures and traditions that could, potentially, contribute to conflict at times, such as those experienced after a death. Relatives and friends can and frequently do clash over a wide range of possibilities in times of loss. It can be even more Extended family and friend influence When a death occurs in a family, there is often a support group that serves as a sphere of influence. A support group for those experiencing grief is of utmost importance and invaluable in navigating the difficulties ahead. Those who gravitate to loved ones in a time of loss naturally possess the best of intentions, sincerely intending to help in supporting the loved one(s). However, there are times when the influence of well-intending family members and friends can exacerbate the arrangement process. There are many decisions and choices that must be made during the arrangement process. The planning and decisions that must be made can be even more complicated when the death was not expected or of a traumatic nature. Circumstances such as these can produce more well-intending spheres of influence that can also complicate decisions. The family members responsible for, or contributing to, the arrangement process is frequently vulnerable to suggestions of the well-intending points of
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